Like the handle says...

[kight]

Like the handle says... O. K. This is serious. Husband makes about $45000 a year. I make minimum wage. He has this need to live in expensive rental apartments. He is over 50, does not have much that I am aware of. He does like to tell people that he has stuff he does not have, he says he was born In the USA, when in fact he is foreign born. People probably know he is not telling the truth about being born in the USA, he speaks very broken English. He likes to feel important in the eyes of his mother, father, siblings, uncles, etc. and he buys their respect, meaning when ever he visits them, he will treat them to expensive restaurants and stuff. Not long ago he had to bail one of his siblings. He used a credit card for this. Again he has no money, but makes his relatives believe he does, so when they need help they always come to him and he loves it because it makes him feel important. I married him to get a green card, but I did want this to be for real, I wanted it til death do us part... But all his insecurities, all his pretending, all his having to buy other people's respect, cost him money he does not have, and I see my future with him very bleak. I feel in debt with him because of that green card, but because I am married to him, I don't qualify for any student grants that I would qualify for if I was not married to him. he does not help me at all with money, he actually expect me to pay half of the rent, which I have not been doing for about 3 months. In all the 4 years we have been living together, I have manage to pay my half, but I am so broke it is not even funny. I have had a hard time finding a job and I have left many sales jobs where I was making no money to try to find something else. For the last 4 months I have been working for $9.00 an hour. Again for the past 3 months I have not given my husband any money for the rent and I think he is resenting that a lot. I would like to leave him, but the only thing that keeps me with him is that i feel that I owe him. I have tried to leave him many times, but he keep begging me to stay after he sees me packing my stuff up. This is after I have left my jobs and he treats me like crap because of it and tells me that I can do whatever the hell I want. I don't understand why he hold on to me that badly. What do you think I should do?

[petrak]

so where does the teacher come into play? You still pursuing that?

[zaro]

suckie fuckie long time?

[renfro]

Obviously If he is making you pay half the rent then this is not a marriage of love. You don't owe him anything. Blessedw2 has obviously never been in a marriage where the man is a user, and that is what this guy sounds like. So what if you got your greencard by marrying him. He knew what was up and if he treats you like crap because of a lost job or not paying the rent then you are an easy punching bag for him. A way for him to get money back that he is throwing away on other things. A marriage is about working together and compromising and having a say on where money goes. He is doing things that effect your life without concern. Leave him because he sees you as nothing but a punching bag to make himself feel better about his life. Screw his image. It's not fair to you to live a life he can't afford and demand the same of you. Leave before you get in too deep and can't leave. And the rest of you, stfu, you are obviously a**holes who don't care about men treating a woman like crap. The way he treats her shows that he knows the deal on the marriage. He didn't marry her for love. There's no reason for her to stay. Don't let guilt keep you with the creep. He'll find someone else to emotionally and mentally abuse. Don't let it be you anymore.

[tisdell]

Thank you Gypsy Like you said. He knew what he was getting into. He know I could have been doing this for the GC only and took the chance. I have been with this guy for over four years, trying to make this work. My permanent green card came two years ago. So for me this marriage was not to get a green card, the green card was a nice perk, but this guy is way to immature and yes, he is using me, he wants me to help him live above his means, I think he thought that I would be able to make a lot more than I have been able to, he does not love me. he is just using me, if anything.

[kurz]

so, you have an answer you are happy with? Are you going to leave him now? Wait... then how would you play the victim? You are either going to leave him, or you aren't. The last few times you posted here you got about the same response- leave him. Yet, you keep posting the same thing, looking for justification. I'm just not sure what you are looking for? People say you should leave, then you argue more about how he could change things for you to stay. Do you just want sympathy?

[hollerbach]

Now I dont know what you are talking about blessedw2

[distefano]

We all told you to leave him just like that poster did. In your OP you said you married him for the green card, then you say you didn't. Just leave, leave now. what more do you want to hear? But, you should pay him back if he paid for your plane ticket here and any other fees involved. We all have to pay rent, not sure why you think you don't.

[armbrust]

I never said I shouldn't pay rent, in fact I have been paying it for most of the time. No he did not bring me to the USA, I met him here>

[ekblad]

But you told her because she's a user... In a marriage, your money should be combined. If one partner is living above their means but demanding that half the bills be paid, then that's not a marriage. That is a roommate situation, even if it is just the rent. You guys are saying, leave him cause you're a user, and he deserves better, but he's just as much a user in the situation.

[lagunas]

So the veredict is in... leave. I knew that. I did take advantage of an opportunity, life presented me, but who wouldn't have? But yes, he is as much a user as I am.I paid my penance, it is time to get out! Thanks again Gypsy!